For some, a divorce is the end of a road that has been filled with arguments
and fights. Unfortunately for some, however, divorce can merely be a step
towards a peace that will never be attained, due to
custody issues and visitation rights.
According to Dr. Jill Schwartzberg, a psychologist with Ruth Rales Jewish
Family Service, it is very common for stress related to parental rights
to affect children. She says “I have a doctorate and 25 years of
experience working with children and families as a family and couples
therapist, but this is not therapy. It’s a mediation process to
reduce conflict.”
One of the most important things that Dr. Schwartzberg stresses to parents,
whether that are undergoing mediation or not, is for both parents to sit
down and attempt to formulate a detailed plan as to how their children
will be raised. If both parents can agree on issues, then there are much
lower chances of any major arguments breaking out later.
It is not always possible to come to agreements on issues such as child-rearing,
however. This is where mediation can help. Mediators can often help educate
parents on child development, and get parents better engaged in their
child’s wellbeing.
The plan that Dr. Schwartzberg recommends includes detailed information
regarding where children will live and for how long, what their extracurricular
and summer time will be spent doing, and potential medical or education
choices that will need to be made, and also the finances.
Remember that just because 2 people are getting divorced does not mean
that they can’t agree on issues, especially when they are as important
as how to raise a child.